A Broken Heart
by JavaJunkie4eVa
Summary: Screw you. I don't want your pity" Woody said. How does Jordan respond? *Rated for rare language.*
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer : **I don't own anything to do with Crossing Jordan

**A/N : **I have to mainly blame me writing a Crossing Jordan story on NCCJFAN. I downloaded an epsiode of Crossing Jordan, then started reading the stories, but when i was reading, and still reading at the moment, the stories by NCCJFAN, i just felt compelled to write, even though my NCIS story is currently finished, but sitting in my bag to be type. Lazy i know.

* * *

"After so many years, after im able to admit my feelings, hes throwing them back in my face

"After so many years, after I'm able to admit my feelings, he's throwing them back in my face. He thinks that I told him out of pity. I told him out of love. I told him that I loved him and he just said, 'screw you'. And the thing is, I can't do it anymore."

With tears in her eyes, Jordan went to the medicine cabinet and took out a number of pill bottles. She couldn't actually read what they were because of the tears, but she didn't really care. She took a number of pills from each bottle and downed them with vodka. With a piece of paper crunched up in her hand, Jordan collapsed into a deep and wanting sleep.

* * *

Garrett had called into see Woody a few hours after he had kicked Jordan out.

"Hey mate. How you feeling?"

"Better. Wish I was out of the hospital. Wish I could feel my god damn legs. Wish god had just taken me instead of letting me live" Woody said the last part quietly

"I think he had more important things installed for you to let you go" Garrett replied

"Like what?"

"Well, for one, Jordan."

"What do you mean Jordan?"

"Well, no one has gotten her to admit her feelings to anyone, and you have. She told you how she felt. She was able to open herself up to being hurt" Garrett replied

"What do you mean Garrett?"

"Well, Jordan telling you she loved you. What did you say?"

"What I thought" Woody replied

"So, where is she? I thought she would be here, happy as Larry" Garrett replied with a smile and looking around to see where Jordan was.

"She's not here. I kicked her out. I don't want her to love me out of pity" Woody replied solemnly

"Shit…..what did you say Woody?" Garrett said cautiously.

"Screw you……get out…..don't want to see you again" he replied slowly

"You idiot. If anything's happened, I'm going to kill you myself. You get all angry because she hasn't told you, she saves your life, tells you that she loves you, and you back hand her, just you……….I cant stand to be near you at the moment" Garrett said, then storms off to find Jordan.

Garrett tries to ring he mobile, and her landline. He rings the morgue and then tries Lily's to see if Jordan has been to her. Her phones are ringing out, and she hasn't been to the morgue or to see Lily. He heads straight for her apartment.

* * *

Garrett knocks on her apartment door, and when there are no answers, he opens it with a key that she gave him awhile ago in case of emergencies. He opens to door, runs through the apartment trying to find her. He found her in the bathroom, with the medicine cabinet open and a bottle of vodka on the floor.

"Not again" he said as he dials 911 and trying to find a pulse. "Yes, I need an ambulance. Pearle Street apartment, attempted suicide. Drugs and alcohol. Very weak pulse, no breathing." He said into the phone, then cutting the call so that he could administer EAR

"Don't do this Jordan, please" Garrett kept saying in between breathing into her and checking her pulse to make sure she still had one. He heard the sirens, and when he heard noises, he shouted 'in here' and let them take over, telling them everything that he knew so far. They got her breathing and stabilised and took her to the hospital, with garret riding in the back with her.

* * *

They took her straight through and Garrett called the morgue. They were going to come down when they could. Lily also contacted Eddie and let him know, and a few were going to head down and sit and wait for the outcome.

By the time the doctor came out, Garrett, Lily, Bug, Nigel, Eddie, and Matt were waiting in the waiting room for news.

"Dr. Macy" the doctor came out.

"Garrett" he said as he got up and shook the doctor's hand

"I'm Dr. West. I took care of Dr. Cavanaugh. She's obviously done a lot of damage. Alcohol and pills. And thankyou for getting the pill information for me. We've pumped her stomach, but with the amount of damage, and no breathing, she's in a coma. We won't know how long or what damage til she wakes up, if she wakes up. We don't know how long she wasn't breathing" he said

"Ok. When can I see her?"

"As soon as we get her settled into a room, I'll have a nurse come out and get you. By the way, this was found in her clenched hand. We retrieved it when we were trying to put the IVs in" the Dr. replied and walked off

Garrett looked at the paper, turned around and the gang came up to him.

"How is she?" they asked

"I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill that fucking bastard" he said storming off to Woody's room. The gang didn't know who he was talking about until he started heading for the stairs, and realised, Nigel, Matt and Eddie chased after him, and Bug and Lily stayed in case the nurse came back.

* * *

Woody jumped as soon as the door was shoved open. He saw Garrett came in full force

"I'm going to kill you" Garrett said to Woody ready to punch him, but was stopped by Matt and Eddie

"What's going on?" Woody asked now frightened something happened.

"Jordan's tried to kill herself again, and this time, it was because of you. Your going to pay if something happens" Garrett said, but at hearing this, Nigel went for Woody and Matt was quick enough to stop him.

"What did you do, you ass hole?" Nigel said as Matt and Eddie led Nigel and Garrett out of the room

"Look, I don't know what he's done, but killing him or blaming him isn't going to help" Eddie said trying to calm him

"It won't make it better. It won't make Jordan better. But maybe it will make him feel the same as what Jordan did when she wanted to end it" Garrett said giving the letter to Eddie, the storming off.

* * *

_I found love years ago. I just didn't know how to express it in words or actions. I thought just saying the truth, saying I loved him would make both myself and him happy. I thought he loved me. I thought he wanted to be with me. But, he doesn't. __Just another person I love walk out on me. First my mum, then my dad, and the person I loved more than either. How can you say you love someone, and be so cruel to them? All I know is that know he doesn't want me, I have no one. No family. There is no place for me anywhere. Not he's heart. Not he's life. And not this world. I can't go on knowing he's in it, and doesn't love me like I love him. I always have and always will love you._

* * *

As Eddie read out the letter, they grew more furious. She had finally let go and bared all, and it was thrown in her face, so, she had just let go altogether. They walked down and were able to go into Jordan's room. They sat vigil all night, Lily having time to call Paul from St Inez, asking him that although what she did was a sin, if her could still pray for her. He did knowing what must have driven her to this, but also as a friend. As morning came around, and she still had not awakened, they all left except for Garrett. He stayed until afternoon when Lily came in.

There was a rotation on Jordan between the people in the morgue and the Boston PD. They made sure that someone was always with Jordan, talking to her, praying for her, letting her know that she is loved and wanted.

* * *

3 weeks later, Woody was out of the hospital and into rehab. No one from the morgue was talking to him. His fellow officers were only courteous towards him. Garret got a called from the hospital

"Dr. Macy. This is Dr. West"

"Is it Jordan? Has she woken?" Garrett quickly asked

"No, she hasn't. But I have some news. I was wondering if you wanted to come down and talk with me."

"Yes, I'll be there within half an hour" Garrett replied already standing and getting his things ready. He ran out telling Lily that he was heading to the hospital because the doc has news and that he will call with the results.

* * *

"Dr. West"

"Dr. Macy"

"What's the news?"

"We did tests this morning. Jordan's brain is perfectly fine. Actually, everything is perfectly fine"

"Then how come she isn't waking up?"

"I think it's the will to live. I mean, she was brought here in the first place because of suicide?"

"Yeah. She's done it once before. She pulled through then. Why not know?"

"Has something happened that might have triggered it?"

"Actually, yes. I know exactly. I had to do with the letter you found. You see" Garrett continued leading Dr. West to a seat and continued "Jordan's had a rough life. Her mother was murder when she was young. Jordan found the body. Her father was a cop, so, she's grown up being independent and cautious. After a couple of bad relationships, she hasn't let anybody in. the past year, her father has left to god knows where, and can't find him, and the man that she had loved for years has broken her heart. She had finally been able to open up to him fearing she was losing him, only for him to turn around and throw it in her face. I think that was the last straw for her. She's usually a strong person, but when it comes to her heart, she's quite weak" Garrett explained

"Well, that's tough. But I think that the only way she's either going to wake up, or finally let go, is to 'face' her attacker. She needs to hear this man voice. Whether she wakes or let's go, is up to her. I think either way, it will give closure to her, and to her friends" Dr. West explained.

"Ok. I'll get everyone down her tonight, to be with her, and then get the guy in tomorrow morning. I want everyone to say goodbye, just in case" Garrett replied sadly.

* * *

"Seely" Eddie said walking over to Matt "just heard from Lily. Garrett wants us all down at the hospital tonight. Doc said that she's fine, but hasn't the will to live. Doc wants her to 'face' the attacker" Eddie said nodding towards Woody who was secretly overhearing "he said it would probably be better to say our goodbyes tonight in case she decides to let go" Eddie explained sadly

"What does that mean" Matt replied

"It means that garrets going to get Woody to talk to her tomorrow, and then its up to her whether she wants to live or go"

"Ok. I'll be there tonight, but I'm also going to be there tomorrow too. Even if I'm not allowed in the room, I want to be close by" he said

"You, me and the morgue all" Eddie replied with a small smile.

* * *

At the hospital that night, everyone was saying there goodbyes. They all comforted each other; they talked about the good times, and the bad. The thing Jordan has done to help them all, and to piss them off as well. They especially talked about all the times that Jordan made them laugh, whether it was to make them feel good, or even a joke, or just being her sweet self.

The nurses allowed them all the stay as long as they wanted. They had all come to love them all. Wanting to get the young lady to wake up. They knew that they all loved her in some way. They also knew what was going to happen in the morning. It was do or die, figuritively speaking.

* * *

"Don't blame me if she dies. I want her alive just as much as you all" he said and he left the group outside the room, knowing full well, that if she does die, he would be blamed, by them and by himself.

Woody walked slowly up to her side, and sat down in the chair next to the bed.

"Jordan. I know you're there. I'm sorry for what I said. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. And I'm sorry for dismissing you're feelings like that. I was upset and angry. I love you Jordan. I always have loved you, and always will. Please wake up. I need you and want you. I can't live my life without you there" Woody said with tears, leaning up and kissing her softly on the forehead, then a soft lingering kiss on the lips.

It was then he felt her lips slowly move

"I loved you Woody. I've always loved you. You broke my heart, and I can never forgive you for that…………………………..

* * *

Hope you liked it...

Please R & R

**A/N : **I know that I didn't end it, thats because it hasn't. I'm doing something I've never done before, and thats have two endings. They should be up in a couple of hours.


	2. 1st Ending

**Disclaimer : **I do not own anything to do with Crossing Jordan

**A/N : **This is the first ending. I thought that this story could use it. It made it easier. I had the same sort of story with a different version of what happens at the end.

"_I loved you Woody. I've always loved you. You broke my heart, and I can never forgive you for that………………………….._

* * *

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

The machines were flat lining. That meant that Jordan was flat lining. That meant that Jordan was gone. The nurses and doctors came running in and pushed Woody out of the way.

He walked out the door

"What's going on?" they asked

"She spoke, then she went" woody barely got out with the tears that had formed "I'm going to the chapel" he finished and headed for the chapel

* * *

"I'm sorry Dr. Macy" was all that Dr West needed to say

"She wanted to let go" Garrett replied more of a statement than a question

"Guess she wanted to" Dr West replied and walked off

They all went in to see her. She seemed so calm. So peaceful. Like she belonged where she was. Lily ran to her side and burst out crying. Garrett just held her hand, softly saying 'I understand'. Bug held Lily. Nigel, Eddie and Matt just stood there, stunned, sad and teary.

* * *

Woody was in the chapel praying like hell. He did love Jordan and he didn't want her to go. He knew that he was sorry and apologized to her and to God for what he said. He was angry and upset, and though they aren't excuses, there were reasons why.

"Please. I'll do anything if you'll just let her live" he kept saying

He heard a voice "I can't. She was willing to go. She sinned and she knew it. I don't want to make anyone live when they don't want to. That's a waste of life. Know the saying, when someone dies, a new life is born. Well, it's true. Jordan gave her life, so that a new life could be born"

Woody turned, and there was no one in the chapel. But he knew what he heard. He left the chapel and went straight to Jordan's room.

* * *

He walked through the door and saw everyone there. Eddie and Garrett were at her bedside, Bug was holding Lily, and Matt and Nigel were standing there.

"Ass hole" Nigel said "Come on Matt. We have work to do" Nigel continued dragging Matt out

"What you do that for" Matt asked

"I'm going to need your help. We need to track down Max. I can only do so much. You being police can out AVBs on him and maybe contact other countries as well. More of a chance to go to Ireland than any other country" Nigel said

So, both Matt and Nigel spent the whole day looking for Max. Matt had a little more help, when people found out the reason, they used all reliable resources to find him. Nigel found that he was still living in the country, out in Texas, and Matt contacted the authorities to find him and bring him home.

* * *

"What were her last words" Garrett finally asked

"That she will never forgive me" Woody replied sadly

"Serves you" was all Garrett could get out before he cried "She was like another daughter to me. God I loved her" Garrett cried out bringing Lily back to tears as well

"She was like a sister to me" she said "She was there when I needed her, and when I didn't need her"

"I loved her like there was no tomorrow. All I asked was for her to love me back. She did and I threw it back in her face. I'm so sorry Jordan" Woody cried and left the room and the hospital

* * *

Matt and Nigel met Max at the airport.

"Its Jordan isn't it" max said "the police just picked me up, put me on a plane here without telling me a thing"

"I'm so sorry Max. It is Jordan. She's……um…"

"She's dead" Matt finished off Nigel's sentence

"She's what?"

"She um…..she committed suicide Max. She's been in a coma for last 3 weeks. She died yesterday morning" Nigel finally got out

"How?"

"Drugs and Alcohol"

"Again. What caused it this time?" Max said trying to hold his emotions so he could find out what happened

"Woody" was all Matt said and Max shook his head knowingly. "You don't have to worry about killing him either, there's a very long line at the moment" Matt said, with a little smirk

* * *

After Jordan was buried with her mother, there was a small wake at the old Pogue. Although intending for it to be small, it was big. Everyone from the morgue, the Boston PD, even Danny and Co from Las Vegas came.

Every single person that came had been touched in some way by Jordan. There were the good times, the bad times, the funny times and the out right pain in the ass times. But all on consensus was that they wouldn't have changed her for anything. Jordan was unique. She was a one and only. She was a rare beauty both inside and out

She would be missed by all

* * *

Of course, Woody didn't attend the wake. He was in the back of the church for the funeral. He stayed behind a tree at the cemetery. He stayed behind after everyone left for the wake. He knew that he was the cause of her death. He would never forgive himself, and he knew that she would never forgive for what he did.

Woody left Boston after that. No one from Boston knew where he went. Woody didn't want to be found. He lived a life of despair and within a year, killed himself. He was honest about that, he couldn't live a life without Jordan

* * *

I hope that you sorta liked this ending. I hate to think that Jordan dies. But i always think about the loved one. How they felt if the other was to die. Here i thought that although Jordan dies, in a way, i like to see Woody suffer a little for putting Jordan through that. I mean, we all know that it was hard for Jordan to open up, and when she does, he palms her off and tells her where to go. I thought that he should suffer a little..,

Please R & R


	3. 2nd Ending

**Disclaimer : **I have nothing to do with the making of Crossing Jordan

**A/N : **Here is the 2nd ending. Of course, a little more happy that the 1st ending. Although, at this time. I am a little disappointed that there are no reviews. But what can i do, i can't a person read let alone review

* * *

"_I loved you __Woody. I've always loved you. You broke my heart, and I can never forgive you for that………………………….._

* * *

"……..so, I want you to get out and never to see you again" she finished and turned her head in the opposite direction of Woody.

He got up, gave her a kiss on the hand with an 'I'll love you always' and walked out of the door and out of her life.

He walked past the group. "You happy now. She's awake. You got what you wanted" he said sadly and walked off. The gang rushed into the room.

"Jordan" Garrett cautiously said

"Garrett" Jordan replied with tears.

Garrett rushed over to Jordan and gave her a massive hug, and the gang, seeing she was awake, left her and Garrett for awhile.

* * *

After 10 minutes, the gang got tired of waiting and went back in there to see her. They were all glad that she was ok. They hugged her with such forced that she wasn't use to it. She wasn't use to this kind of attention. It made her feel bad, because all these people looked out for her, loved her, and she was dismissing them, like Woody did her, by trying to end it.

She was making them suffer to ease her own pain, like Woody was making her suffer to ease his pain.

After a while, they all left to give her some peace and quiet, and some rest

* * *

A week later, she was able to come home. She told Garrett that she was ok to stay by herself, and that she promised him that she wouldn't do it again. With the promise and the persistence of Jordan, he said ok, but made sure she checked in to him in the morning.

She still had another week off, she had to see Stiles on a condition of returning to work. She was to relax, and get herself together before she returned.

She walked through her apartment, dropped her stuff and went straight to bed, crying herself to sleep. No matter what she said to anyone, she still loved Woody and missed him deeply.

* * *

"Morning Jordan"

"Morning Stiles"

"How you feeling?"

"The suicide attempt, I'm feeling better. The reasoning behind it, not so good. Its life, and I have to carry on. Just have to remember that there are people that care about me" she said

"What was the reason behind the suicide attempt?"

"Straight to the point"

"No other way to be with you Jordan" he replied with a little smirk

"True. It was Woody. Told him I loved him. He told me to screw you and to get out. So I did. Me heart just couldn't take that rejection. It's the last that it would take" Jordan replied

"So, he broke your heart"

"Yeah. He did"

"And have you spoken to him?"

"Since I've woken up? Yeah. He was the first one I spoke to. The doctor said that that was the only way for my condition to change"

"Change?"

"Doc said that I was either willing to live or willing to die. I needed pushing in either direction. So they used the source of the problem. Woody. So, I woke, told him that I loved him, that I always would, that I will never forgive him, and for him to get out."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I'm angry. I'm upset. But not just with him. I should have understood what he had felt. The shooting would have made him upset and angry in the first place. It just hurt that he wouldn't believe me. So, when I came to, I was angry and upset about it and took it out on him before I had a chance to stay calm. He was the first person I saw when I woke up. I think I wanted to hurt him the way he hurt me. I'm not blaming him for what happened, that was my own fault and doing"

"Do you still love him?"

"I'll always love him"

* * *

A month after Jordan was back at work, she was able to go out on calls. Garrett would make sure that her calls weren't the same as Woody's. Others would run interference when ever he came into the morgue, not that he did often, we would request information to be faxed over and call if there were any questions.

It wasn't until 2 months after she returned to work, they ran into each other at the local supermarket.

"Sorry….oh….hi Woody"

"Hi Jordan. Um….how you feeling?"

"Much better. You?"

"I'm ok"

They stood there, feeling a little awkward.

"Ah...look Jordan, I know you don't want to hear it, but I am truly sorry. I know I was a jerk when I was in the hospital. I took my anger out on you and for that I'm truly sorry"

"It's ok Woody. I understand. I mean, it's the same with you. You said those things just for me to wake up. At least I know that what I said to you was the truth even though you don't believe me. I did what I could to make a relationship work"

"Jordan, I meant those things I said n the hospital. It wasn't just so you can wake up. The reason I hadn't said anything earlier was no one wanted me there, and there was literally a hit out on my name"

"They wouldn't let you near me?"

"No. They blamed me for what happened. I blame myself for what happened"

"It's not your fault. I mean, yeah, it was your fault I was upset, but not your fault that I was lying in that bed. That was a step that I took myself. I've never blamed you for that."

They stood there staring at each other. Woody could see the truth behind those brown eyes, and Jordan could see the love behind the blue eyes. They slowly leant into each other, lost in each others eyes and met for a slow kiss. They broke away after a minute.

"I would love to take you back to my apartment and love you all night, but I want to take it slow for both of us. How about we go back to yours, have dinner and talk?"

"That sounds good" Jordan said and leant in for another kiss before they left to go and talk.

* * *

Please R & R

Its now all finished...


End file.
